Дневники Вампира / The Vampire Diaries

Why I Can Never Ship Delena…
Okay, so anyone who knows me knows that I am a very open minded person and I see the show for what it is and I see the characters for who they are. I am, in no way, more or less inclined to favor one character over the other, nor do I rule out the possibility of any ship solely because I already have a favorite ship. I think that is no way to enjoy television and plus, what if your favorite ship doesn’t work out…. What happens then? That being said, after last night’s episode, a lot of trouble has been brewing in the TVD fandom, and I really want to address it. Although I have called out BOTH fanbases (SE and DE) in the past, this letter is meant for Delena fans. I hope that you don’t take any offense by what I say, but I really need to get this off my chest, and I hope that you all will read what I have to say with an open mind and hopefully leave me some nice comments as to why you agree or disagree (you can also message me on Twitter at @SignalFire915 to tell me your thoughts)-

Why do you ship Delena?

I DON’T GET IT. There is no plausible reasoning that I can come up with as to why Damon and Elena make a good couple. In fact, I can probably find many reasons for why they CAN’T make a good couple. Some DE fans have tried to convince me that they want Damon and Elena together because Elena sees the good and human side of Damon. She does, yes, I agree. Here is my problem with that argument- Damon only SHOWS his good and human side TO ELENA. So naturally she would be the only person to accept him. But you know if Damon actually showed his goodness to anyone else, Elena is nothing special. Anyone else would accept him as well. No, you disagree? Okay, well let’s take an example- Caroline.

Caroline liked Damon. In fact, I’m pretty sure Caroline would have done ANYTHING for Damon. Why didn’t Damon like Caroline though? Damon only wants what he CAN’T have and therein lies his problem. He is sabotaging his own chances at happiness. Damon doesn’t allow himself to be loved by anyone. But if he did, if he actually did show his true self to anyone other than Elena, he would be surprised at the result. Let’s take another example- Bonnie.

I think we can all agree that Bonnie hates Damon. Why is that? Because Damon tried to kill her and her best friend and is a cruel monster and he has only showed Bonnie that side of him. But what happened when Damon showed a first hint of kindness towards Bonnie? In the season finale, we had Bonnie trying to destroy Damon by not disabling the device and in that episode, Damon THANKED Bonnie, and I might add, it was extremely sincere on Damon’s part. But what I am more concerned with is Bonnie’s reaction. Did you SEE the LOOK on her face? She seemed taken aback and then proceeded to “test” Damon to see if he was being for real. She tells him that she only disabled the device for Elena, to which Damon says he knows but he owes her anyway. Now take a look at Bonnie’s face when he is walking away. For the first time EVER, Bonnie saw a DIFFERENT side to Damon, and what does she ultimately do? She saves his life. Now you can argue that Bonnie did this solely for Elena’s benefit and it had nothing to do with Damon thanking her, but from Bonnie’s “threat” to Stefan at the end of the episode, I get the impression that she SPARED Damon’s life because she saw something in him that made her rethink her decision and she decided to give him a CHANCE to actually see if he could be good and the writers have also confirmed this. My point is, if Bonnie dissected that much from Damon just thanking her, who’s to say what will happen when Damon actually becomes a friend to her like he is to Elena?



And the same goes to anyone else that Damon shows his humanity to.

How will Elena benefit in a relationship with Damon?

I keep seeing DE listing reasons for why Damon and Elena will make the ultimate couple, but 99% of those reasons are ways in which DAMON would be made happier by being with Elena. But there is only ever one argument people seem to make about Elena’s side- She becomes fun with Damon. Now I know that this might be in the eyes of the beholder but I personally don’t see how Elena and the word “fun” can be combined in the same sentence. Elena, in my opinion, is never fun. She is quite boring and bland, and for lack of better word- ordinary. And when I proceed to ask a member of DE why they get the idea that Elena becomes fun around Damon, she pointed out Damon and Elena’s road trip in “Bloodlines.” Here is my problem with that- Elena was drunk! She was only fun because she was a little tipsy. But Damon and Elena have been alone many times after that and Elena is never again as “fun” as she was on her road trip. Why is that?



Because Elena, in general, is a bore and when she is around Damon, she brings him down with her. When Damon is with Elena, he loses himself completely. His sarcasm, wit, charm, everything that I LOVE about him, is gone. This has to be one of the strongest reasons why I am opposed to Delena. I love the funny Damon, the one with the awesome one liners. Not the Damon pouring his heart out to a faux-Elena on her porch. Now I have also heard the counter-argument to this. People claim that when you truly love someone, you do change and you do become soft. Yes, I agree. However, you don’t take a complete 180 from who you really are, and if you do, then it’s really not love. You must retain a certain part of yourself, or else it is just a lie. A cop out of who that person wants you to be and who you think you NEED to be for that person. Damon’s idea of love, it’s not just love… it’s obsession. He was willing to do ANYTHING for Katherine. Even as a human, Damon helped Katherine to KILL people and even drank their blood from her lips……… THAT IS NOT LOVE! That is obsession to its max. I don’t understand DE shippers sometimes. You can’t have it both ways. Either Damon will change himself to mold into the thing that Elena loves and he will no longer be the Damon that we love, or he will remain the Damon that we love and not be with Elena.

I really hate to bring Smallville into this but I find that with TVD, I ALWAYS bring up Smallville. Damon and Elena, to me, seem like Clark and Lana- a doomed ship. Everyone wanted Clark and Lana to be together (well outside of the brighter minds who were waiting for the love of his life, Lois, to come along) but once they got it, fans soon found out that it wasn’t as sweet as they imagined it to be. At first, it was wonderful, but then the relationship hit a few bumps in the road (a few very serious, disastrous, bumps) and I was not at all surprised. The fact of the matter is that Clark and Lana did not fit together. Clark needed to change for Lana, and I don’t mean to change in a good way, I mean his life and energy was being stolen from him and he became this unlikeable, jealous, unhappy guy. Delena shippers seem to think that Elena brings out the best in Damon, when I actually think that she brings out the worst in him. When he is around her, he becomes a different person. In “Rose,” he was unrecognizable to me, so much so, that I felt it was not the same Damon and I know I was not the only person who felt this way. Around Elena, he either becomes angry and ruthless (ie- see Jeremy neck snap fiasco) or completely depressing (ie- see Delena scene in “Rose”). This is what Delena will be like, and more importantly, this is what KATHERINE has done to Damon. From the looks of it, it does not seem as though a relationship with Elena would be any different. Anyone who thinks that Delena will have a relationship similar to Stelena’s relationship is deluding themselves. Damon and Elena will have massive issues to work through and the after effect of this will be the majority of viewers will end up hating Elena (and I say this because the females are usually the ones to get the larger end of the hating stick where television shows are concerned). I know this happened to me with Smallville. I HATED Lana. So much so, to the point where I would have been glad for her to be killed off. That is terrible, wanting the leading lady of the show to be killed off, what’s the point of even watching anymore? To contrast this- Lois and Clark’s relationship was HEALTHY! They started with a dislike for each other, then over the years became allies and friends, then more. And I think it’s pretty safe to say which person Clark ultimately ends up with. But I know I will get flack for the comparison because everyone knew from the beginning that Clark and Lois were meant to be, but I am not comparing the characters, I am comparing WHY the characters worked, and why Clana did not. Clark and Lois did not lose themselves at any point in order for their relationship to exist. Their sexy banter was always their sexy banter. Lois’s dry sarcasm has always been Lois’s dry sarcasm. Clark’s heroism has always been Clark’s heroism. But when their relationship was formed, they were still the same people with an added love for the other and they learned things about themselves and about love along the way. The BUILD UP to Lois and Clark in my opinion was a television MASTERPIECE (minus the Clana arc of season 8- a.k.a. the arc of SUCK!).



I get asked a lot why I ship Bonnie and Damon, and everything that I just listed above is the reason why. In my opinion, the only person on the show (so far) that Damon would be compatible with is Bonnie. When Damon is around Bonnie, he is still the same Damon. The funny, sarcastic, teasing, Damon. But he also has his soft side around her as well, and despite himself, never seems to wish any harm unto her, although she has on multiple occasions tried to kill him. The scene between Bonnie and Damon in “Plan B” was amazing for me in every way because, in my opinion, it was just a preview to what a Bonnie and Damon relationship WOULD be like. There was sexy banter, intense smoldering stares, teasing, annoyance, protectiveness, and sincerity. In all senses, Damon and Bonnie are the closest thing to Lois and Clark in the show that I see and it is no surprise why I would like them together (I also would like to note that I have noticed, from being around the communities, that a good majority of Bamon shippers are also Clois shippers… curious, isn’t it?)



Why can you not see any other possibility for Damon?

I have heard this sentiment so many times. It’s either Delena or nothing. Why? I don’t get it. Why can you not see any other possibility for Damon? If Damon ever did manage to truly fall for another person and love her and want to be with her instead of Elena, would you accept this? Or would you just take to insulting the woman that he loves and make up lies about how he is using her as a rebound? What is so special about Elena to you? Because, BELIEVE ME, I have TRIED to understand Damon’s love for her… and it just does not make sense. In the books, I GET IT. In the books, Damon’s attraction to her is plausible. In the books, Elena is not just an ordinary girl. She has a different aura than other people, a strong powerful vibe, not to mention, she’s not exactly human. But in the show, it is so out of character, in my opinion, for Damon to even be in love with Elena. He is nowhere near as soft with her in the books as he is with her in the show, and it is one problem that I had with the episode last night. For me, it just came off as out of character from the Damon that I know and from the Damon that anyone else knows, who has read the books first. Damon likes powerful women. Women who are snarky, who set him straight, who take charge. Elena is none of this. Snarky- no. Set him straight- HELL no. Take charge- ……I think you know what I am going to say. Elena is the damsel in distress in the show and all the other characters run to her beckon call. Again, I will say, Damon’s infatuation with her makes absolutely NO SENSE. Katherine, I get. Elena, I don’t. Stefan’s love for Elena makes sense to me. Elena is the Katherine that Stefan fell in love with way back in 1864, so it is no surprise to me that he fell in love with Elena. But Damon knew who Katherine was the whole time and accepted her for this and loved her in spite of all of it. So again, I find myself saying, it doesn’t make sense. And even when I proceed to tell Delena fans how Damon’s love for Elena does not make sense, they never respond back to me. So how am I ever going to understand why people like Delena so much?



Some people on Twitter have tried to convince me that Elena actually is special in her own unique way… but I am going to need actual proof of this. I like Elena and I’m not going to fault her for being that way. It is who she is. Bonnie, on the other hand, is ALL of the things I mentioned above (at least when she is around Damon) so Bonnie and Damon would just make more SENSE to me. Perhaps people should stop shipping with their hearts, and ship with their brains instead. But it’s not only the antagonizing of Bonnie being paired with Damon that annoys me, it is the antagonism of ANYONE paired with Damon. I can’t tell you how many tweets I’ve read about wishing death upon Rose even before the episode aired. Why does it annoy you so much that Damon is getting a love interest? Wouldn’t you rather him be happy with someone other than Elena than to be unhappy without her? I want Bonnie and Damon together but I have accepted the fact that the chances of that happening right now are pretty slim and so I want her to have a love interest. Because, outside of my Bamon ship, I want happiness for both Bonnie and Damon. And ultimately, if it’s not with each other, I would STILL want Damon to end up happy and Bonnie to end up happy. I am too much invested in each character to want anything less for either of them. The same goes for ALL of the characters on the show. If I think that Rose is as good a match for Damon as Bonnie is, then I will want her to be with Damon. But with Delena, it seems that people only want for Damon to be happy with Elena. Very rarely is it considered how Elena should feel about this. I’ve even heard comments saying that Stefan should “let” Elena be with Damon. Here’s the thing- ELENA does not WANT to be with Damon. It has nothing to do with Stefan “letting” her. She is not a wind-up doll and you can’t make her feel things that she doesn’t and you can’t say that she is in denial when she has NEVER shown in ANY way that she is in love with Damon. Do you care at all about what she wants? Or are you only invested in Damon?

If you LOVE Damon so much, then why would you want him with someone who is only going to hurt him?

I know what you are thinking- that I am about to bash Elena. But on the contrary, I am about to bash LOVE. LOVE SUCKS! I know it’s hard to accept, but it’s the truth. Elena LOVES Stefan. And no matter HOW MUCH you tell yourself that Elena will ultimately “choose” Damon, love does NOT work that way. It does not just go away with a simple choice. It is much more complicated than Elena admitting that she loves Damon. Okay, so I concede, there very well might be a time when Elena does choose Damon over Stefan, but if you think that Elena is going to forget about Stefan 100% and be solely Damon’s, you are very naïve. Elena will ALWAYS be torn because of her love for Stefan and because of this Damon will ALWAYS be getting hurt. She will never truly be his and he will always get his heart broken trying to fight for her attention. Furthermore, even IF somehow Elena did manage to forget about Stefan 100% and love Damon, do you really think DAMON will be able to forget about Stefan?

I know I’ve said this in the past, but I don’t think people are aware of just how STRONG a sibling bond is. From my experience, it is the third strongest bond that exists in this world outside of the bond between God and his children and between a mother and her child. People fall in and out of love all the time, going through women and men constantly, getting divorced and remarried multiple times, but your family…… THAT is FOREVER, and you don’t get a choice. And I dare say that having 165+ years with only your brother must increase a sibling bond ten-fold. Now Damon and Stefan have their issues, no doubt, but so does pretty much EVERY sibling relationship I know. And YES, they DO have issues as bad as Damon and Stefan’s. I can speak for myself when I say that I HATED my sister growing up. Seriously, I despised her… but there is no doubt in my mind, as much as I disliked her, I would give my happiness for hers in a heartbeat, no questions asked. Because she is my SISTER. And there is no need for any more explanation than that. Damon’s remark to Elena in the last episode was just further proof that I was correct in my assessment. Damon does in fact LOVE Stefan more than anyone else, and when it comes down to it, Damon will sacrifice his personal well-being for his brother. Knowing this only makes me love Damon more and it makes him more relatable in my eyes. So to the people who are thinking that Elena choosing Damon would just make everything be okay… it’s REALLY not. It will not fix everything. Maybe Elena’s love for Stefan will change, but Damon’s will not. It will only make things worse, and increase Damon’s pain, and saying this as a person whose favorite character is Damon, I don’t want to see him in pain.

The scene with Elena killed me last night and I don’t understand how people see it and still want Damon and Elena to be together. I love Damon too much to want to see him hurt like that and when he is with Elena, he will CONSTANTLY be in that state. I understand the sentiment of loving Damon so much that you want for him ANYTHING and ANYONE that he wants and the thing that will make him happy. It is sweet and, believe me, I understand. Although I despise Twilight, the one character that I did enjoy was Jacob, as he was the most normal and non-psychopathic of the bunch. So as much as I really HATED Bella, I still wanted Jacob to end up with her, just BECAUSE he wanted to be with her. But the difference is- Jacob being with Bella would not cause any detriment towards himself. Jacob and Edward were not brothers and they had no obligation to each other whatsoever. Neither Jacob, nor Bella, would come off as shitty people for being with the other. And this is what sets TVD apart from pretty much any love triangle story ever told- Damon and Stefan are BROTHERS. There is NO WAY to get around that. Damon being with Elena, would not only hurt him because of Elena’s feelings for Stefan, but it would hurt him also knowing how he is hurting his brother. I also had quite a difficult time getting through Eclipse because of my love for Jacob. Seeing Bella continually choose Edward over Jacob and how much it hurt Jacob did not sit well with me. There were even times when I did not want to finish the book because I did not appreciate Bella’s response to Jacob. And I don’t see how Bella’s ”love” for Jacob would be any different than Elena’s ”love” for Damon . The ONLY reason why I stuck it out with Bella and Jacob was because there was NO OTHER OPTION for Jacob in the novels. But that is not the case with TVD. In Twilight, it hurt me knowing that Jacob’s love for Bella was never fully reciprocated and it is no different with Damon. In “Rose,” the scene that Damon shared with Elena made me cry, because I felt for Damon so much. I understand wanting Damon to get the girl that he wants, but most of the time, the things that we WANT are not what is BEST for us. I would never ship Bonnie with Damon if I did not honestly and wholeheartedly believe that she is the BEST match for him on the show. Granted, I don’t expect that NOW, considering Bonnie hates Damon, but the girl’s got to warm up to him eventually. I see the POTENTIAL there, whereas with Delena, I see impending destruction…

I LOVE DAMON!!! I want him to find someone who will love him and ONLY him. I want him to be loved truly by the woman of his choice and for him not to have to compete with his brother for the rest of his life (again). Am I being too selfish in wanting this for him?

Anyways…

So anyways, the point to this super long post is that, all things being considered, I don’t want Damon and Elena together on the show. This is something extremely strange to me considering that I usually ALWAYS ship the bad boy with the good girl so the fact alone that I did not immediately fall in love with Delena was a strange concept to me. But then it was because I realized- I DO ship the bad boy with the good girl, it just so happens that the good girl is not Elena . The fact that there are so many Delena fans in the world really makes me curious. I love you Delena fans, but sometimes, I really think that the diehard nature of the Delena ship and the fangirl phenomenon that Damon seems to cause does not allow you to see anything for what it IS, rather than what you WANT it to be. I think some things need to be reevaluated. That is all. <3

1. I apologize for the length of this but I tried to answer all of your questions
Why do you ship Delena?
Note, this isn’t a list of reasons I ship D/E. It’s a reply to the specific points you raised in this part of your blog entry. We agree that Damon only shows his good side to Elena. However, let’s think about why that is. As you rightly point out, he could show it to anyone he so chooses. Your question is why Elena?
My answer is because Elena sensed it in him before he showed her any real evidence of it. She apologized to him in Friday Night Bites for his loss of Katherine. You can see by the look on his face that it has been who knows how long since anyone showed him any sympathy. Sure you can argue that Elena didn’t know what he was then or the horrible things he’d done. But nevertheless she could see that he had suffered and/or was in pain because of Katherine’s “death” and she empathized. Elena has always seen past the walls that he put up and you best believe it wasn’t because Damon was letting his guard down with her. It’s her nature to sympathize and empathize. And for Damon who has been denied – admittedly often because of his own actions- those things for many years, it was a difference that affected him deeply. After all this time of being a monster, Elena is the one person who ever bothers to look past his actions and to his motives. Think back to Fool Me Once when Stefan says that Damon is angry. Elena corrects him, saying “He’s hurt. There’s a difference.” She gets Damon. It’s not just about seeing the good in him. Like you said, anyone would see that if he let them. It’s about understanding how his mind works, even when he’s going out of his way to achieve the opposite. I was incredibly struck by the fact that right after he killed her brother, she was still lucid enough to realize that he’d done that because being hated was easier. That it was a choice he’d made in that moment. It’s a marked contrast to Bonnie who in the aftermath of her grams death hated Damon and all vampires. Unlike Elena, she was incapable of putting herself in Damon’s shoes. Now I’m not condemning her for that. It’s a normal reaction on her part. But that Elena can do that is exactly what makes her so extraordinary, despite your labeling her as boring and bland. Elena has spark. Let’s not forget that we met her only a few months after her parents died. Anyone would be a little bit blah after that. But she has the ability to be very fierce and very brave. Just look at how she handled being kidnapped. Women twice her age and then some would have completely fallen apart. And yet as plainly terrified as she was, she stood up for herself, going so far as to attempt negotiating with Elijah who is basically the baddest ass vampire we’ve seen on this show yet.
How will Elena benefit in a relationship with Damon?
Again, Elena not being fun probably has a lot to do with us as an audience meeting her after parents had died and her whole world got turned upside down. As she herself said in Bloodlines, she used to be more fun. What I would point out here is that Elena being “fun” around Damon doesn’t only apply to the character. It’s more fun for us as an (D/E) audience to watch her with Damon because she comes alive. She gets angry, she yells at him, she can get drunk with him, she can be empathetic with him, she can worry about him, she can banter and have eye sex with him. When she is around Damon, Elena expresses a large range of emotion that is entirely absent in her interaction with Stefan.
Second of all, I love snarky Damon as much as anyone. However, I recognize (and Ian Somerhalder has said this numerous times) that those things are a defense mechanism. They are how Damon copes with his pain, his loneliness and whatever other emotions he is trying to hide. They are not a real reflection of who he is. You’ve only to look at the flashbacks to realize that as a human Damon was far more vulnerable emotionally than Stefan was. And this ties into something, you mentioned in the “Why Ship Delena” part of your post. You wrote that Damon doesn’t allow himself to be loved by anyone. Yes, well, he did spend the majority of his life, undead or otherwise, feeling unloved. Stefan was his father’s favorite, Katherine’s as well. Damon hasn’t had a lot of experience letting people love him because no one ever has. And the one person you could argue loves him – his brother – has failed him in many ways (Damon has incontestably failed him as well) and so I find it perfectly reasonable that he would be guarded.
And although her word must be taken with a grain of salt (possibly a shot of tequila as well) I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Katherine referred to Damon as being sweet and innocent. If you don’t like the side of his character that comes out when he’s around Elena, if you’re not moved by his confession on the porch or at the end of Rose, then frankly I have to assume that you really don’t like Damon because at his core, that is exactly who he is. The rest is just a façade and a crumbling one at that.
You argue that Damon is changing for her. I disagree. He’s actually changing for himself. He doesn’t really want to be a monster. When he thanked “Elena” for deciding he was worth saving, it was because it meant the world to him that someone else could still have for him the hope that he wants to have for himself.
But back to the original point here of what Elena gains from a relationship with Damon. This might sound crazy but in my opinion a relationship with Damon would be much healthier with Elena than the one she currently has with Stefan for the plain and simple reason that despite caring for him, Elena is not blind to Damon’s faults. She sees him as he is and cares for him anyway. And Damon has never hid himself from her or apologized for who and what he’s been. You can take issue with that if you want and argue that he’s a monster who feels no remorse but personally, I like to see it as someone who is real. He knows who and what he is, knows what he’d done wrong and right and has accepted those things. With him, Elena can be real too. She doesn’t care what he thinks so she’s not afraid to express herself. She’s not constantly weighing her every word out of fear that he will think less of her.
Now, I am simply going to address the other points you raise in this segment, notably the comparisons with Damon’s relationship with Katherine and his potential relationship with Elena. You are right that his love for Katherine was obsessive and selfish. But you are wrong – in my opinion – that his love for Elena bears any resemblance whatsoever to that. At the end of Rose he said it himself, “Because I love you, I can’t be selfish with you”. That right there, encapsulates how DIFFERENT his feelings for Elena are from his feelings for Katherine and to my mind it even implies that what he felt for Kat was never love in the first place. It’s true that Damon’s love tends to be unconditional. It’s true that he will do absolutely anything for Elena and to protect her. That’s part of his character; it’s part of his fierce loyalty to the ones he loves.
You also said that Damon and Elena will not have a relationship like Stefan and Elena’s. To that I reply, THANK GOD. I have so many issues and qualms with S/E’s relationship and I wouldn’t want a D/E relationship to be remotely similar. Damon, I feel, is far more likely to let Elena think for herself, not to smother her. He will protect her yes but also allow her to make her own decisions and face their consequences. And he’s always done that. Look at the scene in BNW when she stops him killing Caroline. He makes it a point to tell her that “this is your choice, if it backfires, it’s on you.” Damon owns his own actions good or bad and he will not let her do anything else.
I disagree with your assessment of Bonnie and Damon’s interaction but that’s neither here nor there.
Why can you not see any other possibility for Damon?
This one is quite straightforward. Damon loves Elena and he doesn’t fall in love easily. He spent a 145 years “loving” Katherine. And she wasn’t nearly worth the headache or the heartache. Elena is actually worthy of being loved. Damon is not fickle in love. Considering the intensity of his emotions for Elena, it’s going to be decades, centuries and more before he truly feels for anyone else what he feels for her. So yes, it’s possible that he could come to care for other people, Bonnie included, but it will never be close to the love he has for Elena.
I have to argue this point about how Elena doesn’t set him straight. Are you serious? She gives him hell. She calls him out on his b.s. all the time starting from that scene in Haunted where she slapped him and said, “It matters and you know it.” Actually I lie. She was calling him out before even that. In Friday Night Bites, she also slapped him and highlighted the fact that he was putting a double meaning behind everything he said and trying to destabilize her on purpose. So yes, the idea that Elena doesn’t set Damon straight when he screws up is quite mind boggling to me.
Damon’s love for Elena makes all the sense in the world to me. He said it himself . “I like you, you have spunk”. And that was before he even got to know her properly. Circumstances have kicked Elena’s ass. I mean just consider all of the things that she’s been through since this show started. Lesser women would be completely and entirely defeated. And yet Elena isn’t. She is still fighting for the people she loves tooth and nail. Damon respects her loyalty because it’s one of the things that they have in common. They are truly more similar than people might think. Just consider that Damon understands her feelings for his brother better than Stefan himself does. As a human, Stefan couldn’t accept Kat’s vampire side and this is why he has so many issues with Elena loving a “monster” and why he wants to protect her from himself. But Damon didn’t have that issue with Kat. He believed himself in love with her regardless of the animal she was.
And again the reason that D/E fans fixate on Damon being happy with Elena and no one else is because that is what Damon himself wants right now. No amount of what ifs or maybes change the fact that right now – as I sit here typing this – the words that came out of Damon’s mouth were “I love you Elena.” It was not , “I love you Elena but maybe in six episodes I”ll love Rose or next season I’ll love Caroline or Bonnie. Or in three seasons when the show jumps the shark I’ll love Matt or Tyler.”
It was and will be for the foreseeable future, Elena. I love Damon, I want for him what he wants for himself. And I happen to be of the opinion that their relationship would be good for Elena as well. Win/win for me if they hook up.
Also about this Elena not loving Damon. I agree with you that she’s not in love with him YET. But she cares very very deeply. More so than she wants to admit because hello, try as she might and after he killed her brother, she still doesn’t hate him. She tried – she gave it the good old college try- but at the end of the day, she can’t do it. She has shown multiple times since the night of the Jeremy incident that she still cares for Damon by expressing concern for him. When the brother’s were prone on the basement of the Lockwood dungeon, she didn’t say to the Sheriff, “I won’t let you kill Stefan.” She said, “I won’t let you kill THEM.” Likewise when they were sealed in with Kat, she didn’t ask Jeremy, “Is Stefan okay?” She asked, “Are THEY?”
This show is based on the idea of a love triangle. That’s not exactly arguable. So at some point – and we are getting closer to it all the time – Elena will love Damon. When that happens, whether or not Stefan should walk away will become an entirely different question and prospect than it is right now.
And to answer your question, yes, I do care what Elena wants. If she chooses not to be with Damon, I’ll be heartbroken for him because he loves her. But it is her choice. But as I think you can tell by now, I believe that a D/E relationship will benefit the both of them and it does not at all strike me as impossible that she should want to be with him at some point in the future.
If you LOVE Damon so much, then why would you want him with someone who is only going to hurt him?
We agree that Elena loves Stefan. He loves her too. This does not a healthy relationship automatically make. You can love someone and they can be the worst thing in the world for you. I’m not saying this is specifically Stefan and Elena’s case. Just that in life that scenario does exist.
Where I see the breakdown in your logic is that anyone – least of all Damon – would expect Elena to not give a crap about Stefan. She’s always going to care for him. He’ll always have a piece of her heart. Of course he will. Why you assume that this will automatically detract from her love for Damon or from any happiness they could find together baffles me.
Loving Stefan is one more thing that Damon and Elena have in common. I grant you that Stefan will be hurt should Elena choose Damon. But would it be any better for her to stay with Stefan if she is in love with Damon? I hardly think so. Elena will have to follow her heart. And wherever that leads her and precisely because they both love her and because as you said sibling love is also a very strong bond I believe that whichever brother she does not choose, will accept her decision and be happy for them. I’d like to think this would especially be the case if Elena were to choose Damon because Stefan of all the people on this earth knows how much real love has been lacking in his brother’s life.
I disagree with you entirely that Damon would always be as hurt as he was at the end of that scene in Rose with Elena. His pain there stems from the fact that as of right now, she doesn’t love him back. And second of all, under the circumstances, he could be dead in a few days, weeks or months, (werewolves, Originals anyone?) and she would never know how he felt.
If Elena returns his feelings, loves him as much as he loves her – and this is entirely possible to me despite her current or even future feelings for Stefan – then he will for the first time in his life know how it feels to love a woman and have her love him back and I think that would make him quite happy indeed.
In my experience, you can’t force people to want what YOU want for them. He chooses Elena. That’s who he loves and therefore that is who he wants to be with. Again, as I said, I believe Elena is entirely capable of loving him back and will do so at some point in the future and I also believe that his and Stefan’s relationship would ultimately survive such a development. At the end of the day, he’s made his choice. You can accept it or not, it’s entirely up to you.
You’re entitled to your opinion as we all are. The last point that I’d contest is that Delena fans are irrational fangirls. Give people more credit. If there are D/E shippers ranging in age from 15 to 64 and from different counties and cultural backgrounds, then it’s not because omigod Ian Somerhalder is so hot or Damon looks badass in a leather jacket. It’s because they’re drawn in to the individual characters of Damon Salvatore and Elena Gilbert and even more drawn in to how those characters interact and even more drawn into the idea that in each other, they might come to find a rare and extraordinary kind of love.
So maybe you should reevaluate too. That is all. <3

Beremy beyond adorable GTFO LUKA