7.03: Cheaper By The Coven, Спойлер - Зачарованные

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Page 6)
ACT ONE
FADE IN:
INT. P3 - DAY

A fairly relaxed PIPER'S on the phone at the bar.

PIPER: Just get it here when you can, okay, Jerry? No problem. Bye.

Hangs up. The easy-going BAR MANAGER, REX, approaches, bemused.

REX: You okay, Piper?
PIPER: Yeah...why?
REX: A beer shipment delayed this close to the weekend? I just thought there'd be more...fireworks.
PIPER: No big deal. We'll just charge twice as much for the ginger ale. (off his look) I'm kidding.
REX: See, there you go again. I don't know what but something's going on.

Piper considers this a moment, then, coy:

PIPER: You know how some people say they trust things to a higher power? Well, I'm trying to live life without any powers. It's made for a lot less...
PHOEBE (VO): Piper!
PIPER: ...until now.

Phoebe approaches, nervous, having just overheard Piper.

(page 10)
Piper crosses to the dining room table and starts to hurriedly flip through the BOS.
GRAMS: I don't know why you're being so stubborn about it. What better way to ward off demon attacks?
PIPER: First of all, the demon went after Wyatt, not his brother.
GRAMS: All the more reason to protect Chris.
PIPER: Except for the fact Wyatt's Wiccaning didn't exactly protect him, did it? Not to mention it almost destroyed you. Or have you forgotten your pal, the Necromancer?
GRAMS (fondly): Just because Armond and I rekindled a...once fiery, intense passion...doesn't mean you should punish Baby Chris.
PIPER: Okay...down girl. The subject's closed. I just wanna find out who's after my son.

Off her flipping through the Book:

INT. MAGIC SCHOOL-GREAT HALL-DAY
ON Wyatt, as he stares at Chris, clutching his blankie.
Suddenly, Wyatt orbs the blankie into his crib.

PAIGE (Off Camera): I saw that Wyatt.

Paige, miffed, looks up from a big pile of work at her desk:

PAIGE: Now give that back to your brother while I find out who's trying to kill you.

BEN CAMPBELL, 21, a cute grad student--good listener and a great smile--looks down from a ladder in the stacks. Reassuring:

BEN: Well, whoever it is can't get to them here. These guys are protected.
PAIGE: Wyatt's protected. Chris still has to worry about his older brother.
BEN: Can't be easy for him with a new kid on the block. Suddenly he's yesterdays news.
PAIGE: Said like an older brother.
BEN: Actually, I was an only child.
PAIGE: Lucky you. Nobody beat you up.
BEN: There were still kids who beat me up. We just weren't related.

Paige chuckles. A RIFFLING SOUND interrupts them. Paige's magical "In Box" slowly fills up with papers. She sighs, grabs one of the papers.
PAIGE: Student progress reports? The year just started. They haven't had enough time to make any progress!

Ben approaches with a couple of books.
BEN: 'Fraid I can't help you with that, Miss Matthews, but I did find something on masked demons.
PAIGE: Please..."Paige" is fine. I'll get to these later. Whaddya got?
BEN: A couple of possibilities. Could be an Aztec demon or a Chinese False face demon. Although neither of them have appeared for centuries. (off book) Either of these look familiar?
PAIGE: No...I'm sorry, Ben.

Then Paige watches, overwhelmed, as even more papers magically appear on top of the "in box" pile.
BEN: Bad time for a demon attack, huh?
PAIGE: I had no idea this job would be so much work. And God knows what I'm letting slip through the cracks.

Ben nods sympathetically, then looking off camera--
BEN: I think I may have found the first thing.
PAIGE: What's that?
BEN: Your nephew.

REVEAL an empty bassinet. Paige whips around to Wyatt.
PAIGE: All right, buster. Where'd you orb your little brother?

INT. MANOR-LIVING ROOM/MAIN HALL-DAY
DING-DONG. As Piper, fearful, slightly freaked, hurriedly crosses to the front door, talking on the phone.
PIPER: Well, where is he, Paige? No, he's not here!

(page 26)
GRAMS: Easy. I just have to figure out a reversal spell, hopefully before that demon returns. In the meantime we should get the boys to Magic School--they'll be safe there.
VICTOR: Fine. How do I get there?
GRAMS: You don't. Magic school doesn't allow mortals.
VICTOR: Well, they'll just have to make an exception, won't they.
GRAMS: Forget it, Victor. Call Leo, he can take them.

Grams heads into the kitchen--leaving Victor stuck with two very fussy babies. Off them, he lets out a plaintive cry for:
VICTOR: Leo!?

INT. SEER'S CAVE-ETERNAL NIGHT

On Leo, lingering in the shadows. He hears the faint call of "Leo" and ignores it. He glances towards the entrance. REVEAL A DEMONIC SEER entering the cave. She's dark and beautiful, someone who seductively taunts her victims as well as her betters. She suddenly stiffens, sensing a visitor--
SEER: Kind of an odd place for an Elder to visit.

Leo, quietly menacing, steps out of the shadows.
SEER: Then again, word is you can't get enough of the dark side these days.

She stops at the edge of a SEEING POOL, a dark sheet of water which shimmers in the cave's dim light.

(page 27)
LEO: Someone from the underworld is after my son. I wanna know who.
SEER: You mean a demon. Don't think so. They know better by now.
LEO: One of them obviously doesn't.
SEER: Tell me, what makes you so sure it's not an Elder? Someone who thinks that maybe your friend Gideon was right?

Leo explodes towards her--grabbing her and brutally SLAMMING her to the ground.

LEO: No more Elders are gonna die by my hands. I can't say the same about demons!
SEER: Can you even tell the difference anymore?

Leo roughly picks her up and HURLS her against the wall.
LEO: Last time. Who is trying to kill my son?!

The wounded Seer finally nods to the Seeing Pool, hissing through her pain:
SEER: You want an answer, you'll find it there.

Leo warily approaches the pool and looks down into its murky depths where--a RIPPLING PICTURE begins to form in the pool's dark currents. Finally revealing a shimmering portrait of...Leo. The Seer smiles cruelly:

SEER: Looks like the only threat to your son is you.
LEO: No... It's a lie!

(page 2 8)
Furious, Leo lifts her off the ground and starts to choke the life out of her.

SEER: The pool...never lies.
Leo suddenly looks up, again hearing the faint call for "Leo". The Seer notices, then cryptically:
SEER: I hope they know which Leo they're looking for.

Leo, angered, tosses the Seer to the ground like a rag doll. Off Leo, shaken:

INT. MANOR-DINING ROOM-DAY
ON Grams, flipping back and forth in the BOS. Piper sits nearby, legal pad in hand, not happy to be there.
GRAMS: Try this--"Words that cast a sibling glow..." Piper...?
A petulant Piper tosses the pad aside.
PIPER: I told you already. I'm not writing anything down. I'm not doing magic.
GRAMS: Do you want me to freeze you again?
PIPER: You're mean. I'm leaving.
GRAMS: No--wait, Piper, please...
Piper, seeing Grams' sincerity, sits back down, EXHALING one of those long teenage sighs.
PIPER: What...?
Grams, softening, suddenly trying to connect, joins her on the couch.

(Page 32)
Leo crosses to Chris, picks the baby up, then over to Wyatt -- but pauses, almost afraid of himself before finally grabbing Wyatt's hand and ORBING OUT with the two boys. Piper turns to Grams and Victor, upset.
PIPER: You two need to stop being so mean to him. In case you haven't heard, he's having a hard time.

Overly emotional, Piper stomps out leaving Grams and Victor to share a look, then:

GRAMS: We need to turn our girls back, fast (turns, on the move) Get Phoebe, I'll finish the spell then get Paige...

VICTOR: (after she's gone, under his breath) Battle-axe...
GRAMS (o.s.): I heard that!

INT. HOTEL BALLROOM - DAY

As a WAITER navigates between tables, past a banner proclaiming "San Francisco Reader's Choice Awards". Suddenly a BAND reaches in and plucks a glass of wine off his drink tray. The hand belongs to Phoebe, who turns, giddy, to one of the guests:
PHOEBE: This is so cool. He didn't even card me.
LESLIE: (approaching) I didn't expect to see you here.
REVEAL Leslie, looking very sharp in a tux:
PHOEBE: Well, I changed my mind. It's my award and I'm not sharing it with you or anybody. So there.
Leslie stares at her, amused.

Page 34:
EMCEE: Well, Phoebe, since the Bay area turns to you for all its personal advice, maybe you can hang around afterwards, answer any questions...
PHOEBE: (exhilarated) Screw hanging around. Why don't I just answer them now? (to audience) Whaddya say?!

ANGEL -- ON LESLIE
Looking more and more concerned.

ANGEL -- ON PODIUM
PHOEBE: (cont'd) C'mon people, don't be shy. I won an award -- I must be smart, right?

The audience laughs. A young, attractive FEMALE FAN finally gets up the nerve, stands up.
Female fan: In your column --
PHOEBE: You mean the winner of all time?
Female fan: (a little thrown) Yes... You gave great advice to the woman. I'm curious, was that based on something that happened to you?
PHOEBE: (no clue) Um... yeah, for sure... Next question?
Female fan: Wait... you mind telling me what that thing was?
PHOEBE: You mean, like... What happened to me?
The fan nods. A long beat as Phoebe -- a dear in the headlights -- just stands there, struggling for any kind of answer...

(Page 33)
LESLIE: Phoebe, are you drunk?
EMCEE: If I could please have everyone's attention...

ANGLE-

N PODIUM
Where an Emcee--40s, distinguished--stands at a microphone:
EMCEE: This year's winner of the San Francisco "Reader's Choice" award for single best column is...the Bay Mirror's Phoebe Halliwell.
The audience starts to applaud.

ANGLE-

n Leslie and Phoebe
He leans over to Phoebe, trying to help out:
LESLIE: You know, it's not too late, I could still go up there.
PHOEBE: Hah! Nice try.

A beaming Phoebe, soaking in the applause, nodding thanks to well-wishers, makes her way to the podium. Gets a warm handshake from the Emcee, who gives her the "Best Column" plaque. Phoebe surprises him with a big hug--
PHOEBE: Thank you so much.
--and steps up to the microphone.
PHOEBE: This is...awesome. I mean, totally, totally, totally, awesome. Totally.

She looks out over the slightly puzzled audience, having already run out of things to say. The Emcee, trying to keep things moving, joins her at the mic.

(Page 36)
LESLIE: I believe so.
Suddenly embarrassed as hell, she turns and runs towards the exit.

INT. MAGIC SCHOOL-CLASSROOM-NIGHT
As Paige tentatively opens the door--trying to be coy. She glances at the blackboard, where Ben's writing a problem for the dozen students in his class.
PAIGE: Hey, Ben.
BEN: Miss Matthews?
PAIGE: Would ya stop calling me Miss Matthews. It's Paige.
BEN: Okay...Paige. Is there...something I can help you with?
PAIGE: Nah, I'm just taking a break from all my work. Although I do kinda need to talk to you.
BEN: Can it wait 'til after class?
PAIGE: Just take a sec, I swear. Pinky swear.
BEN: All right...Everybody, just stay in your seats.
The students stifle giggles as Paige leads Ben out the door, into:

INT. MAGIC SCHOOL-HALLWAY-CONTINUOUS
And backs him against the wall. He's annoyed, confused:

(page 37)
BEN: Paige, what's going on? What'd you call me out here for?
Paige leans in and gives him a nice, long kiss.
PAIGE: That. How old are you, anyway?
BEN: 21
PAIGE: Oh-kay...big mistake.
BEN: No, it wasn't.
PAIGE: Are you kidding? If the faculty ever found out, I'd be, like...so dead.
BEN: So? Who says they have to find out?
PAIGE: Nope. That was it. One kiss. We are not going to second base.
BEN: (pulls her close) You sure 'bout that?
GRAMS: She may not be, but I am!

REVEAL Grams, standing a few feet away.
GRAMS: A grown man. You should be ashamed of yourself!
She starts to steer Paige down the hallway.
GRAMS: Come on, dear. Time to grow up.
Paige, moonstruck, looks back at a very confused Ben.

(page 45)
GRAMS: A third party...? Who'd you have in mind, their mother?
VICTOR: Yes, as a matter of fact--that's exactly who I had in mind.

She reacts, surprised--first time she's been on her heels all game. Victor, pouncing on that, insistent:
VICTOR: Do it.
GRAMS: Oh, very well--but she's not going to side with you, you know.

With a flamboyant wave of her hand, the familiar FLURRY OR WHITE LIGHTS APPEAR, followed by--the GHOST OF PATTY, who, though she's transparent at first, she CORPOREALIZES into the beauty we all remember her to be. She's immediately suspicious, especially seeing the two of them together:

PATTY: Mom...? Victor...?
VICTOR: Patty...You look great.
GRAMS: Quit trying to sweet talk her.
Patty, concerned, looks from one to the other, then:
PATTY: What's going on?

INT. SEER'S CAVE-ETERNAL NIGHT
As the Seer tends to her pool. Then, on guard, she looks up, sensing a presence.

SEER: There's nothing more I can tell you about the demon.
REVEAL Leo, an emotional wreck, barely holding it together, as he steps out of the shadows and closes in on her:
LEO: You can tell me where it came from. I need to know--did it come from me?
SEER: You're in no condition to find out.
LEO: I have to know. Tell me!
SEER: What the pool reveals could damage you beyond hope.
LEO: I'm already there. I won't hurt you, I promise, please...
Off the Seer, thinking about it for a beat before dipping a finger in the pool, causing it to RIPPLE.

INT. MANOR-ATTIC-DAY
Mid-argument as Victor and Grams talk over each other, making their points as Patty can't get a word in edge-wise:
GRAMS: I'm telling you she'd never get over it, her own husband trying to kill their son!
VICTOR: Oh bull....We don't even know if it's really Leo.
PATTY: Mom...
GRAMS: What if it is? You don't think it'd destroy her? Then what happens? You trust Leo to look after those boys?!
VICTOR: Better than keeping them in this attic for the rest of their lives!
PATTY: Okay, guys...?